Hi Mom and Dad, it’s me, Christine. It’s the name you gave me. It’s a good one. Dad, this is more for Mom. Hey mom, did you feel emotional the first time that you drove in Sacramento? I did, and I wanted to tell you, but we weren’t really talking when it happened. [Pause] All those bends I’ve known my whole life, and stores and the whole thing. [Pauses again] But I wanted to tell you, I love you. Thank you. I’m—thank you.
These are the words Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPherson utters into her parent’s answering machine back home in California. They are also the final bits of dialogue concluding this heartfelt coming-of-age story about the people, relationships, and places that define us.
I can’t remember the last film that resonated so strongly with my experiences and also correlated with my life in the given moment.
For the second time in my life, I am graduating from school and leaving my home— although home now is different from where it was the first time around.
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Christine’s voicemail is primarily directed towards her mother, Marion, whom she didn’t necessarily end things on the best terms with before leaving home for college. As she’s leaving her mom the message, a montage sequence begins of when she first drove through her hometown. A first-person perspective of looking out the driver’s window at the Sacramento landscape glides across the screen. In a nostalgic flashback, Lady Bird is shown at the steering wheel taking in the surroundings she’s familiarized herself with her whole life but is now observing in a completely new and affectionate light. A seamless eyeline match of Marion driving down those familiar roads connects them and the similar pride they feel. The scene returns to the current moment of Lady Bird standing on the New York City sidewalk letting her mother know she loves her despite her recent behavior and her wanting to be so far from home.
The scene paints an all too familiar picture: The film as a whole paints an all too familiar picture.
Lady Bird, starring Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf as her mother, captures the story of a teenage girl prepared to leave the life she knows behind as she embarks for college. Following her through her senior year at Catholic school, the audience is situated in a very relatable retelling of the anticipation of leaving the halls of high school and never looking back.
Upon experiencing the film Lady Bird, actress and producer Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut, I returned to my eighteen year-old self back in Las Vegas. Sweeping me in an unexpected wave of nostalgia, Lady Bird transported me to that moment in time when I too longed to spread my wings and get as far away from home as possible. Often in films revolving around a teenage protagonist, high school and popularity are glamorized. The people are movie-star gorgeous and prom looks like it had the same budget as an award show. Part of the relatability of Lady Bird is Gerwig’s choice to deviate from this formula in place of a more humble verisimilitude in the depiction of characters, home life, and daily activities. Gerwig herself is from Sacramento which explains the heartfelt way her on-screen protagonist reflects on the place she’s called home her whole life.
Born and raised in Las Vegas is a rare thing. Most individuals move there from somewhere else. “You’re from Vegas? That’s so cool!” is a response I’m used to receiving whenever I reveal I’m not a Washingtonian. I hated to admit that I personally didn’t think it was cool to be from there and that I detested the place for most of my life.I didn’t want to shatter the glamorous, fun, wonderland image most people have when they think of my hometown. I was the type of person who would count down the years, months, weeks, days until I could move out of Las Vegas.
I relate so much to Christine. From the start of the film, she bluntly expresses her desire to leave California and head eastbound for college.
I hate California, I want to go to the east coast. I wanna go where culture is, like New York or at least Connecticut. . .or New Hampshire where writers live in woods.
I definitely felt that Las Vegas lacked culture—or at least the culture I was interested in.
She’s convinced herself that anywhere is better than Sacramento in the same way that I glorified every city over my own. Sacramento isn’t offering her what she wants in life; neither are any of the other Cal state colleges. Attending school with kids who are much more financially privileged than her often makes her feel like an outcast. Most of the kids at my high school lived in mansions and got brand new luxury cars for their birthdays. My single mom, with the help of my abuelitos, raised my younger brother and me as we moved into a different house in the area almost every two to three years. My mom’s justification was always that she wanted my brother and me to have all the opportunities she didn’t get as a kid. She went above and beyond.
Lady Bird’s mom treads a similar path. She works long hours to support her kids and remains strong for the family even when Lady Bird’s dad, Larry, gets laid off from his job. Marion holds the family together. Lady Bird and her mom’s relationship is not always one where they see eye to eye but their love and need for each other’s acceptance is deeply felt. My mom is my best friend but that’s not to say we don’t have our falling-outs from time to time.
When my acceptance letter from Western arrived, I danced around my house like characters from my beloved John Hughes movies so often would do. I knew this letter was my ticket out of Vegas. My mom was happy for me, she’s always been my biggest support.
When Lady Bird receives her acceptance envelope, her celebration is more subtle as she sits on her grassy porch smiling to herself, knowing what she holds in her lap is her ticket out of Sacramento.
One of the aspects of the movie I had not anticipated was the perspective it gave me of how my mom must have felt when I left for college. I think back to a scene later in the film when Lady Bird has just arrived at her dorm. Tucked into her luggage is a manila envelope containing drafts of letters her mom had started to write to her explaining how proud she is of her despite how much it hurt her as a mother to see her go. Larry, unbeknownst to Marion, salvaged the letters and packed them in Christine’s luggage.
In birthday cards she mailed out to me, my mom professed how proud she was of me but how a small part of her left with me when I came up to Washington for school. After watching Metcalf’s performance as a mom whose teenage daughter moves away for college after living in each other’s company their whole lives, I realized the pain and heartbreak I put my mom through. We had spent eighteen years together. Everything would change completely.
She didn’t stop me from spreading my wings and going where my heart was calling. I don’t know how I can ever thank her enough for letting me go in pursuit of a new chapter of my life— even if it meant being far from her.
Sister Sarah Joan: You clearly love Sacramento.
Christine: I do?
Sister Sarah Joan: You write about Sacramento so affectionately and with such care.
Christine: I was just describing it.
Sister Sarah Joan: Well it comes across as love.
Christine: Sure, I guess I pay attention.
Sister Sarah Joan: Don’t you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?
Like that last, dreamy montage scene of the film, I remember the sensation, excitement, and sadness I felt as my dad’s car chugged through the seemingly never-ending desert. How I felt the need to watch the Las Vegas strip get smaller and smaller through the side door mirrors until it was just a speck and then no more for it to really hit me that I was leaving this place and everything I knew behind. It took me a while but my appreciation for this place that had such a profound impact in shaping me has risen. Sure, I talked about how much I didn’t like growing up there—but it’s part of me, an unchangeable factor. Now when I go back down and visit, I look forward to seeing those bright neon lights, the comforting desert scapes, and feeling the warm, beating sun embrace me.
It takes for Christine to be away from home to realize that deep down, a piece of her heart would always be in Sacramento. You can take the girl out of Sacramento, but you can’t take Sacramento out of the girl.
The same can be said about Las Vegas and this girl.
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With my college graduation just weeks away, those familiar feelings and thoughts are taking over me. I will be moving away from Bellingham and the life I have created here for four years. Washington is a place I have grown to love too. In just a few short months, I will take the long road trip down to Texas to start anew. I have always been one to adapt to new environments fairly easily. I see it as the next chapter, the next stop among what may be many for me in this lifetime.
I’m leaving the nest yet again. I don’t know where I’ll fly to next, but that’s all part of the journey.
WWU Film and Media Criticism / Spring 2018 